she was so not down for the gang bang
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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