If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
