Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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