Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
