I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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