That's intense
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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