Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
