they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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