Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize