TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
