what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
