If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize