She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
