the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
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I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
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I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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