Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
