shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize