1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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