We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
