I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
