Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wish my penis had a tongue
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
