Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
