I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
