his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
