you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
