He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
