the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
