he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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