You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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