I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
