ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
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The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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