fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
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she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Randomize