I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
