He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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