it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
