Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
