He asked to "fluff my boner.."
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How does it feel to date your dad?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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