My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
