I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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