i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
