Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
