STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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