she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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