we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
