i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
