you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
