just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize