My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
