I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
