Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
