Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
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I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
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I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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