i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Also, beer. Big fan.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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