we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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