I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
