My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
