a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
