WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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