I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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