Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
