The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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