She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize